It's 3am

It's 3am
My demons are calling again
The worst version of self
are dragging me down to hell
at 3am again

Mom and Dad are long asleep upstairs
I sense her fears and his angry glares
Tho I left long ago my body's curled up in bed
3am my heart's filling up with dread

Listening for a voice, waiting for permission
To breathe to love to be without hesitation

The words are trying to escape this hell
So I'm going to cast my own spell
Searching for a phrase than could set me free
from being the demon version of me

All I hear myself say is STOP!
NO! You will not have anything more to do with me!

It's 5am now I understand
this isn't any version of me
Still learning it's okay to let all this go
Make room for something new
I hope that it will be with you.